Self Respect
Self Respect is a legacy of acceptance laced with humble appreciation and fueled by contribution. Having a healthy sense of Self Respect empowers us to put our middle finger up to conventional wisdom and so is an essential element to creating and living the life of our dreams.
Society wide, respect is a social virtue. We are taught to “respect our parents”, “respect our elders”, and “respect authority”. To respect is to pay homage to people, institutions or situations / circumstances that, through their own achievements, successes and / or experiences, deserve to be considered in high regard. As an extension, Self Respect is a virtue also, gained through positively contributing to society and being an active member of our communities, but for us to actually feel Self Respect, these contributions need to be coupled with acceptance and appreciation.
We accept ourselves by acknowledging who and what we are : just one of 6.8 billion human beings populating this planet – all with individual needs, complicated by emotions, powered by intellectual capabilities and prone to making mistakes as a means to improve, develop and grow wiser. When we acknowledge the reality and truth of this and accept ourselves and others for not being perfect, we lesson the burden on ourselves and our awareness expands as we contemplate beyond the four corners of the room around us, to the greater and more profound perspective of thinking about our place, as human beings, in this world. When we turn our thoughts towards the ‘bigger picture’ it is difficult not to be humbled and appreciate the sheer complexity and enormity of the universe we live in and we pay homage to ourselves by recognizing and appreciating our place within it all, and when coupled with our positive contributions to this world, we naturally develop a strong and genuine sense of Self Respect, a Self Respect that is not dependent on anyone or anything else.
While Self Respect is synonymous with Self Esteem, they are actually two very different things, yet are often confused and the meanings exchanged. Self Esteem is a traditionally more self absorbed and egotistical consideration that reflects our exaggerated and often unfounded perception of our own self worth which is then echoed in our behavior e.g. someone with ‘high self esteem’ would think “I am the best” and would behave arrogantly as if he is superior to everyone else, while someone with ‘low self esteem’ would think “I am the worst” and behave with trepidation and timidness, whereas when we have a high level of Self Respect, it is earned through our positive contributions coupled with our accepting and appreciative mindset.
From this strong and genuine sense of Self Respect a healthy measure of Self Esteem is gained because, despite whatever shortcomings and failures, or talents and successes we may have, we come to understand that ultimately we are all equal. Equal in the sense that we are all human beings, experiencing life and all dealing with our own unique challenges and journey’s while alive.
If you have little Self Respect (you do not accept yourself as an inherently flawed human being and do not appreciate your connection to this world) you will easily torture yourself for making mistakes, saying the wrong things, or making the wrong choices, and may ultimately stop living a rewarding and satisfying life out of fear of failure, or you may agonize over trying to be someone you are not, and if you are someone who does accept your mistake prone inheritance and appreciates your connection to this world, but does not contribute positively to society, you will be missing a vital factor and so will not be able to enjoy the satisfaction and contentment associated with earned Self Respect.
When we have a strong and genuine sense of Self Respect we feel empowered to define and live by our own values. Because we accept ourselves, appreciate our connection and place in this world and are conscious to act with good deeds we do not search for approval and permission externally and we do not look to other peoples opinions and perceptions of us as a measure of our own self worth. Instead we give ourselves approval and permission to act in accordance to what we believe is right and what should be done and under the wings of this empowerment, we feel satisfied and content with ourselves and abilities. Having a strong and genuine sense of Self Respect is especially pertinent to creating your own concept of the Ultimate Lifestyle because by the very nature of creating and living a life which is not in strict keeping with conventional living means you will face objections, criticism and general misunderstandings about your intentions, so a healthy dose of Self Respect will arm you with the confidence and belief in your decisions as you go about creating and living your life aligned to your own values and passions.
Self Respect can be developed in several ways :
1. Positive Contributions
Positively contribute to your community. This involves helping others whenever and wherever possible and also positively contributing by being kind, compassionate and generous – to yourself as well. Be selfless and expect nothing in return. Help an elderly person with their grocery bags, hold the door open for a stranger, volunteer for non-profit organizations, recognize opportunities to assist and offer your services. Proactively focusing on your own personal self growth is also a positive contribution to society – personal development leads to greater self awareness which ultimately helps you connect and help with other people and when we focus on helping other people, our personal problems melt away in comparison to the collective needs of our world and it feels good to know we are making a positive difference.
2. Develop Acceptance – Forgive your Mistakes and Move On
Acceptance was acknowledging that we are inherently flawed human beings, so next time you make a mistake – recognize the mistake, make amends where necessary then forgive yourself and move on. There is no point hanging onto past mistakes and dwelling on past momentary lapses of judgment – we make those mistakes to learn from them and to grow wiser.
3. Be Grateful
As the old Chinese proverb states “every cloud has a silver lining”, and it is true. For every negative event, there is a positive lesson to be learned, however harsh the lesson is. Identify the positive elements to every conceivably negative situation and be grateful for it. Be conscious of and focus on all that you have to be grateful for in your life including yourself – warts and all.
4. Appreciate your Connection to Nature
When you recognize and acknowledge your connection to nature, everything comes into perspective. Us, the world, our place in the world and our greater place within the universe. When we live with the ‘bigger picture’ in our minds what once seemed like an insurmountable problem, becomes nothing more than an inconvenient triviality and our lives just become easier – less stressful and more in harmony with life and living.
5. Be True to Yourself
It is too easy to conform to the wishes and whims of societies limitations and expectations, but when you instead honor yourself and act in accordance to what your personal values are, you are living a life true to yourself. Anything from what food we eat to what we buy and where we shop, to who we spend time with and what we focus our energies on can be aligned to our true values. Use this as an opportunity to explore, understand and gain greater clarity about what your personal values are and purposefully create your lifestyle around those values.
What is your view on this? Share your thoughts and experiences below in the comments section.
If you are interested in Free Life Coaching, then please feel free to contact me, I will be delighted to support and encourage you to create and live the life of your dreams.
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This is JUST what I needed. You hit the spot guapa!
Glad to hear it my lovely! xx
Great article!! Thank you
Thanks for the feedback Marianne – have enjoyed my break away from the website, but starting to feel the desire to write more again soon. Watch this space